Pride Week: A Mother's Perspective
How I handled my daughter's "come-out"
By: Geneviève Beausoleil
I'm not a writer and I don't know how other people have dealt with this. All I can do is tell you my story. So I guess it would be good to explain how important my reaction was on hearing the news that my daughter is bi, for lack of a better word. When I asked her why she was lashing out at me so much, she responded with the news that she had a girlfriend. I was so confused. I had to ask what that had to do with how she was treating me. To be honest, the look on her face was priceless and something I will never forget. She had heard so many stories about "beating the gay out of you" or about kids getting kicked out of the house that she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she could have been green and it wouldn’t matter to me. I asked her if she was happy; and when she said yes, I told her "Hakuna Mattata". She was so relieved that she burst out crying. I held her for a while and told her that no mater what, she was still my baby.
Acceptance was the most important thing I could give her in that moment and that hasn't changed in the days, weeks, months, and years that followed and I can't stress that enough. I would have accepted her if she had an eleventh toe or a prominent birthmark or a debilitating disease. Being different is not a crime or disease. Canada is the melting pot when it comes to different people, why does being gay have to be any different? My daughter quickly learned that I didn't really care if she was a blonde or a brunette, gay, straight or in between, so long as she was happy.
As for what it's like living with her? The only difference that I can see is the stress she goes through trying to hide her sexuality. She can't hold her girlfriend’s hand in the school hall, or dance together at the school dance. There are too many ignorant people out there that the only place they can let their guard down is at home. The one place where there should be acceptance, love and support. I can't and won't be the one to take that away from her. The rest of our day to day lives is the same as any other family, and I treat her the same way now as I did before she came out. I guess, I don’t really think about it be any different.
By: Geneviève Beausoleil
I'm not a writer and I don't know how other people have dealt with this. All I can do is tell you my story. So I guess it would be good to explain how important my reaction was on hearing the news that my daughter is bi, for lack of a better word. When I asked her why she was lashing out at me so much, she responded with the news that she had a girlfriend. I was so confused. I had to ask what that had to do with how she was treating me. To be honest, the look on her face was priceless and something I will never forget. She had heard so many stories about "beating the gay out of you" or about kids getting kicked out of the house that she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she could have been green and it wouldn’t matter to me. I asked her if she was happy; and when she said yes, I told her "Hakuna Mattata". She was so relieved that she burst out crying. I held her for a while and told her that no mater what, she was still my baby.
Acceptance was the most important thing I could give her in that moment and that hasn't changed in the days, weeks, months, and years that followed and I can't stress that enough. I would have accepted her if she had an eleventh toe or a prominent birthmark or a debilitating disease. Being different is not a crime or disease. Canada is the melting pot when it comes to different people, why does being gay have to be any different? My daughter quickly learned that I didn't really care if she was a blonde or a brunette, gay, straight or in between, so long as she was happy.
As for what it's like living with her? The only difference that I can see is the stress she goes through trying to hide her sexuality. She can't hold her girlfriend’s hand in the school hall, or dance together at the school dance. There are too many ignorant people out there that the only place they can let their guard down is at home. The one place where there should be acceptance, love and support. I can't and won't be the one to take that away from her. The rest of our day to day lives is the same as any other family, and I treat her the same way now as I did before she came out. I guess, I don’t really think about it be any different.
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